Jess

I was 21 years old when I found out I was pregnant. I was a single, full-time college student working part-time at the mall. I had no money, no degree and no real plans for my future. When I saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I freaked out, to say the least. All I kept saying was, “I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant.” I called my ex-boyfriend, Ray, and told him the news. He just told me that some way or another we would get through it.

I was leaning toward adoption and Ray was leaning toward raising the baby ourselves. Both of our parents had pretty strong opinions about what we should do as well. We were not ready to rule out either option so we decided to get informed about both.

Ray and I sat down and did some budgeting. We looked at what baby supplies would cost and how much money we made in a month. After all the calculations, we slowly began to realize there was no way we would be able to raise this baby without a massive struggle. On top of that, Ray and I were not sure we were going to be together and I wanted my child to be with a married couple. It was at this point that we decided to meet with a few prospective adoptive parents.

We met the first two couples, and I remember being nervous and not knowing what to say or do. Our meetings went well and they seemed nice, but we weren’t sure either couple was right to adopt our baby. Within minutes of meeting a third couple, though, I knew in the back of my head that they were going to be adopting my baby. Ray and I met with them a few more times before we told them that we had chosen them. I began to mentally prepare myself for the adoption. Every day I told myself that I was making the right decision.

When Kyla Grace was born, I had decided that I wanted to keep her in my room the whole time I was in the hospital. The last morning in the hospital, the doctor came into my room to do Kyla’s final checkup. Her adoptive parents came in, too, so they could hear how she was doing before they took her home. During the check up it hit me that this was it. I could not hold back the tears any longer. Later that afternoon, as I gave Kyla to her adoptive mother, I told her that I knew they were going to take great care of her. I thanked them both for being such a great couple.

We have an open adoption so I get to see my baby and I receive pictures and updates from her adoptive parents. I’ve seen her several times since she was born and she is doing great. I was able to go back to school in the fall and just completed my fourth year of college; in a year and half I will graduate with a degree in graphic design.

Having a baby changed my life forever. It made me realize what I want to do with my life and the kind of person I want to be. Not a day goes by where I do not think of her, and I try to be the best person I can be so that one day she can have me as a great role model in her life. I have a great relationship with her adoptive parents and I know they will honor their commitment to me and allow me to still be a part of her life. I am happy today knowing that I gave another couple the gift of life. I can see the love and happiness in their family when I see pictures and spend time with them.

– Jess, a birthmother who created a plan for an Open Adoption through CHSFS