In a national survey, 50% of men who frequently assaulted their wives also abused their children. Children can be deeply affected by violence that they witness. They may see violence on TV and video games or hear it in music, but witnessing violence at home can be especially troubling for children.

Living with domestic violence in their home can force a child to feel many emotions. They feel powerless by not being able to stop the abuse from happening to loved ones or themselves. Feelings of guilt could arise for loving the abuser. The child may be confused by having mixed feelings of love/hate towards the abuser, or be pressured to take sides with a parent. Constant worry about when the abuser will strike next creates ongoing anxiety. The child may feel ashamed about the secrets in their home.

Fortunately, there are many ways to help a child living with domestic abuse. Find a way to let the child know that he or she can talk about the violence with a trusted adult. Be supportive and empathetic to any child who experiences domestic violence and chooses to disclose this information. Sharing their feelings helps the child feel less frightened and alone. Make sure the child knows and understands that the violence they are witnessing is not their fault and did not begin because of their actions. Inform them that there is nothing the child can do to end the violence they see in their homes. Finally, report any suspected abuse or neglect to the proper authorities; even if the child is not being physically harmed, the child may be experiencing some behavioral, social, and cognitive harm that will be detrimental to their future. Anyone working with children can make a difference by being alert to a child living with domestic abuse.  

Strauss, Murray A, Gelles, Richard J,. and Smith, Christine. 1990 Physical Violence American Families; Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence in 8,145 Families. New Brunswick: Transaction Publishers