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Warning Signs of Domestic Abuse
Abuse can take place across all economic classes, races, and cultural backgrounds. There are no stereotypes for either victim or batterer: victims are not always passive with low self-esteem, and batterers are not always violent or hateful to their partner. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to know if someone is experiencing domestic violence. However, the following are signs that may indicate abuse.
- Injuries and Excuses: In order to hide bruises, the victim may be forced to call in sick or make elaborate stories or excuses for how the injuries occurred. If this happens frequently, it may be an indication that something is wrong.
- Absences from Work or School: Due to the severity of the abuse, the victim may be forced to interrupt their normal schedule or arrive late to work or school. If this begins to be a common occurrence, it may be a sign of domestic abuse.
- Low Self-Esteem: Among victims of domestic abuse, it is common to have a lot of confidence in some areas of their life, such as work. However, in domestic-abuse situations, the victims may feel powerless and believe they are better off with their abuser as part of their lives.
- Personality Changes: Personality changes arise when the victim has learned that it is easier to act certain ways around their batterer than to experience additional abuse. As a result, they change their personality as a form of protection.
- Fear of Conflict: Often times, victims generalize their feelings of powerlessness in other relationships. Conflicts can make the victim anxious, and as a result they try to avoid conflicts by acting overly friendly for extended periods of time.
- Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Victims of abuse may lack the ability to identify and express their feelings. As a result, they may express themselves in a passive, nonconfrontational manner, but then react aggressively.
- Self-Blame: Victims may take all the blame for things that go wrong. If this occurs frequently, it may be a sign of abuse.
- Isolation and Control: A batterer will exert control by isolating his or her victim. Examples include limiting access to telephones or insisting on always accompanying the victim. It is common for the victim to agree to these conditions to prevent future abuse.
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©2005 Children's Home Society and Family Services |
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